Quick Shot Ed/Script
episode opens outside Eddy's house before transitioning into the attic. Eddy: "C'mon guys, it's up here." door on the floor opens, and Eddy comes through. Edd: "Careful Eddy." Ed: "Who's there?" flips a light switch on. Eddy: "Told ya!" Eds are standing in the middle of fields of debris. Ed and Edd: "Cool attic, Eddy!" Eddy: "Eh, my folks are pack rats." walking around, comes upon a toaster, which pops up two slices of moldy toast. Ed comes upon a shelf of records. Ed: "Mmm, I found a donut." Eddy: "That's a record, chowderhead." drops a box on his head accidentally. blows the dust off some books. He then picks one up and flips through it, and then looks at another. This one yields a centerfold. Edd: "Perfect specimen!" centerfold is of a praying mantis. goes over to a coat rack and picks up a fur coat. Eddy: a camera "Way cool!" Ed: Edd "I am a werewolf! AWOOO!" Eddy: "Hey Ed!" Ed and Edd: around "Huh?" snaps their picture. The flash makes them dizzy and disoriented. They fall back into a pile of magazines. Ed: to unfuzz "Cool! Do it again, Eddy!" snaps another photo. This one shows Ed and Edd together in the pile. Edd has a book on his head, and Ed is holding up rabbit ears behind Edd. Eddy: "Check it out!" Edd: spots "Eddy, I'm temporarily impaired." Ed: "Let's see let's see!" grabs it and looks at it. Eddy: "Hey Eds! Let's go take some pictures!" snaps yet another shot. ---- next scene shows some of the pictures. One shows Ed menacing Edd, although the camera is out of focus; the duo can only be seen from the nose up. The next shows Eddy's shoes. The one after that shows Edd and Ed from the chest down. The last one is of Eddy smiling in the foreground while Ed and Edd smile in the back of the photo. ---- is in the lane, snapping pictures. Eddy: "Smile!" enters the shot. Kevin: "Hey dorks!" snaps a picture of Kevin, and the flash goes off. "I CAN'T SEE!" crashes into some trash cans, knocking them over. "Real smooth, Edhead." Eddy: sarcastically "Sorry, Kevin." gets ready to snap another picture. Kevin: "Why you'll be sorry, twerp!" takes the shot, blinding him "Stop moving!" slips on a bottle and falls into another trashcan. The trashcan tips, and he rolls down the lane in it. Ed: "Let's take more pictures!" Edd: "Hmm. Um, we could make ID cards." Eddy: "Nah, there's gotta be a way of turning pictures into profit." sees a calender lying in the trash. "Hey! I just stepped into my best idea yet!" Ed and Edd: "Huh?" Eddy: "Let's make a calendar! We take pictures of the kids, and sell 'em back to 'em." snaps a picture, signaling a scene transition. ---- Eds peek out from behind a pole. Edd: "The photo safari begins!" runs off, and Edd follows. Ed tries to go after them, but just runs round and round the pole. Ed: "Hey! Where did you guys go?" Eddy: Ed "C'mon." ---- car is seen parked behind some bushes. Strange noises are heard. Suddenly, the Eds stick their heads out from under the car. Eddy hears Jonny humming and stops. The other two run into him. Ed: "Oops." Eddy: "Ssh." heads into the bushes. The other two follow. On the other side are Jonny and Plank, on a swing with a book. Edd: whispering "See how the wild animals nurture their young?" creeps out and gets into a good position to take the photo. Jonny: "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a–" turns the page and sees something shocking "–oh my!" Eddy: interrupting "Smile!" Jonny: "Huh?" takes the shot. Jonny, disoriented, falls off the swing and throws Plank in the air. Eddy laughs until he notices Plank heading for him. Eddy: "AAAAH!! PLANK'S GONE MAD!" Ed and Edd: Plank "GAAAH!!!" Ed, Edd, and Eddy: "PLANK'S GONE MAD!!!" lands in the bushes as they run away. ---- lumps in a hall rug, presumably the Eds, are moving down the hall. Sarah: offscreen "Whee!" Jimmy: offscreen "Whee!" Sarah: "C'mon Jimmy." Eds zip out from under the rug and hide behind a couch. Jimmy: offscreen "Oh boy!" Eddy: "Ssh!" camera shifts to show Sarah and Jimmy playing with dolls. Jimmy: "You're a very pretty doll. Let's play!" Sarah: male doll "I need the car." female doll "Take the bus." male doll "Okay, dear." Jimmy: an soldier doll "I wanna look just like you when I grow up." Edd: "Some animals get confused, and adopt another animal's traits and characteristics." creeps out and gets the camera ready. Jimmy: oblivious "Look, Sarah!" camera goes off. Sarah: by the flash "Look what you did to Jimmy!" is in the corner, crying. Eddy: "Hold that pose!" readies the camera. Sarah, having a different idea, rears back to throw a dollhouse at them. She hurls it. Ed: "Eddy, I don't think that's–" Eddy: "AAH!" ducks, and the dollhouse hits Edd instead. Ed: "Sarah, please don't throw things in the house!" doll's head hits him in the mouth. Sarah then goes on a rampage. Sarah: "EAT DOLLS!" parts go flying everywhere as Ed and Eddy run away. Eddy: "Run!" Edd: with a dollhouse over his head "Sarah's gone mad!" feels for the windows. He manages to pull the blinds up, allowing him to see. He screams and runs away with the other two. They get outside, and Ed and Eddy hide behind a fence, but Edd keeps running. Eddy: "Where's Double D?" Ed: a crash is heard "There." has run into a mailbox. All of the dollhouse with the exception of the door (located in his mouth) is off his head. Edd: to talk because of the door "Nu, nu nu nu, nu nu nu nu!" Eddy: "What? What?" Edd: "Nu nu nu nu nu." opens the door "Look!" Eds turn to see someone dancing in a second-story window. They head off to take pictures. Ed: "Is that Nazz?" trash can comes rolling up. Kevin: "Dork dork dork." can crashes against a tree in Nazz's yard, and he climbs out, dizzy. "I see ya!" refocusing "That's it, I'm coming to get ya!" takes a picture, blinding him again. "Whoa! Where'd ya go, dorks?" heads off down the sidewalk away from them. The Eds laugh at him and climb the tree. ---- is wearing exercise clothes and doing aerobics, presumably to an exercise program on the TV in front of her. The Eds creep up on a tree limb placed perfectly to observe her through the window. Edd: "Some animals put on a display, to attract attention of a suitable mate." Eddy: "Cool." Ed: through his binoculars "Wow. TV!" Eddy: the camera "Ha!" branch shakes "Will you guys hold still?" branch bends and cracks. "AAAH!!" and the other two fall to the ground. Nazz comes over to the window and looks out, but she doesn't see them. She goes back to her exercise. The Eds lay crumpled under a tree branch. While we watch, a photo develops and slides out of Eddy's mouth. It shows Eddy screaming. ---- Eds are shown looking into a house. Inside the house, sausages are being churned out. It soon becomes apparent that Rolf is pouring ground pork into a sausage making machine. Edd: "Some animals resort to cannibalism during drought or famine." Ed: "I'm famined!" Eddy: "You're drought. I can't get a good shot of Rolf from here. Follow me." Eds enter the house. They are completely silent until Ed rushes in. Ed: "Hot dog!" rushes over to the tub of sausages. Rolf: "Get out of here, stupid!" takes a picture. Rolf, blinded, falls into the machine. He comes out the other end as a giant hot dog. Rolf: "I am a wiener!" Ed: sausages "You are Rolf!" Rolf: "Victor! We have poachers!" goat looks up and charges them like a bull. Ed: "Victor?" the goat "Guys! Victor!" runs for the door. Edd and Eddy: "Victor's gone mad!" chases him, coming closer and closer. He takes a bite of the string of sausages Ed is holding approximately every yard, emphasizing how close he is getting. Ed: "Eddy! Door!" slams the door. Although it initially seems as though they stranded Ed inside, it quickly becomes apparent that Ed got out and Eddy closed it in the nick of time. "That was close." Eddy: "Let's go take some more phoTOS!" head rams through the door, knocking them far away. ---- Eds land on a street, hard. A light then shines on them. Eddy: "Huh?" lights are revealed to be Kevin. He has hooked up 5 flashlights, in various places, to his bike. Not only this, but he is now dressed in a sweatshirt and sunglasses in addition to his regular clothing. The Eds: "It's Kevin!" mouth moves, but no words are heard. Eds scream and run away from him. They run through a fence, and then into a house, where Jonny is seen bathing. Eddy, noticing this, goes back and takes a picture, but he sees Kevin catching up and so he runs again. Jonny: "Do you think they saw anything, Plank?" Eds are now running through a junkyard (although this isn't the one seen later on). Kevin is still after them. The Eds fall into a tire and roll down a hill in it. They manage to jump a road at the bottom of the hill. Kevin: "I've got you dorks! Uh-oh!" garbage truck comes along, and he falls in. ---- Eds, still in the tire, fall into a river. They float downstream, into a sewage pipe. Eddy: "Bleah! This place reeks!" Edd: "I think we lost Kevin." Ed: to a ladder "Look!" Eddy: "Good work, Ed!" prepare to surmount the ladder and exit the sewer. ---- Ed: around "All clear!" Eddy: "How'd we end up at the trailer park?" Edd: the Kankers "We should go now, Eddy." Eddy: "Not a chance! One more picture and we can finish our calendar!" camera pans over the Park 'n Flush before settling on the Kankers' trailer. "And there it is." Ed and Edd: frightened "The Kanker Sisters!" creep up to the trailer. Inside, Lee and Marie are seen doing their hair. On the outside, the Eds are forming a ladder to look in the window. Marie: "I'm gonna have my best hair yet. We're gonna be irresistible!" Lee: "You bet!" May "May! I'm getting crusty!" May: with a huge bottle of something "I'm coming, Lee!" Eddy: "Sweet." raises the camera. Lee: "What's taking so long?" May: "Quit your fussing and hold still!" Marie: "I'm gonna be gorgeouser." camera goes off. May: and hysterical "We're being abducted!" Lee: disoriented in the least "No we're not! It's Eddy!" points to the window, where Eddy can clearly be seen clutching the camera. Eddy: "Run boys." try to run while still in tower formation. It works as well as can be expected–they all end up hanging from the Kankers' clothesline. Marie: a window "Well, well." Lee: "Nice of you boys to hang around." Kankers reel the clothesline in. ---- Eds are still on the clothesline, but it is now in the trailer. Edd: "I hope these clothespegs don't leave marks." The Kankers: towards them and chanting "We're gonna make you pretty! We're gonna make you pretty! We're gonna make you pretty! We're gonna make you pretty!" Eds all scream in fear. ---- camera cuts to a house. A door is slightly ajar. Edd: "What are we gonna do?" Ed: "Look at me!" laughs. The camera shifts downwards to show an instant-develop camera sitting on top of a cabinet. Eddy: "I got some gel at my place. If we're careful, no one will see us." door creeps open to reveal Sarah and Jimmy. Sarah has taken the camera and is pointing it at the Eds. Sarah: "Smile!" takes the photo. The Eds are all wearing outlandish wigs. Eddy's is blue with a bow in it. Ed's is red, cut short, but otherwise looks a lot like Eddy's. Edd's is a blond mane of fuzz that makes him look like he plays hair metal. ---- photo is next seen on a calender nailed to a tree. The calender reads "June." All the kids are looking at it and laughing. The Eds, meanwhile, look down from a window. They all have the wigs still on, but now paper bags have been added to the top. As we watch, they reach up and pull the bags down. All of the bags have frowning faces drawn on them. Eddy: the curtains shut "Sheesh." Category:Season 1 Category:Season 1 Scripts